STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
                      (c) copyright 1994 by someone else.

 I took exception to your recent  ___ post in this newsgroup
                                  ___ email

 It was (check all that apply):

 ___ lame.
 ___ stupid.
 ___ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be
     capable.

 Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

 ___ what you posted/said has been done before.
     (Mark only if above checked)
     ___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
 ___ your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of every other form of this type
 ___ your post contained commercial advertising.
 ___ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
 ___ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
 ___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
 ___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
     (Mark only if above checked)
     ___ It was done clumsily.
 ___ your system has a stupid name.
 ___ you quoted a posting and added no new text.
 ___ you quoted a posting and only added ___ lines of text.
 ___ you quoted a posting and only added the line "Me, too!!!"
 ___ you predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".
 ___ you asked for replies via email because you "don't read this echo".
 ___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
 ___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
     ___ And considering who you flamed, that's sad.
 ___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.
 ___ your .sig is longer than four lines.
 ___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):
     ___ you listed ___ snail mail address(es).
     ___ you listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.
     ___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
         (Mark only if above also)
          ___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed.
          (Mark only if above also)
              ___ Miserably.
     ___ you included:
         (Mark all that apply)
          ___ a stupid self-quote.
          ___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.
          ___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply):
              ___ USS Enterprise
              ___ Australia
              ___ The Amiga logo
              ___ Company logo
                  (Mark only if above also)
                  ___ and you stated that you don't speak for your employer.
              ___ Bicycle
              ___ Bart Simpson

 Furthermore:

 ___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of debate
 ___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of echomail.
 ___ You are a loser.
 ___ You must have spent your entire life in a box to be
     this clueless.
 ___ This has (probably) been pointed out to you before.
 ___ It is recommended that you:
     (Mark all that apply)
     ___ stick to local BBSing and come back when you've grown up.
     ___ find a volcano and throw yourself in.
     ___ get a gun and shoot yourself.
     ___ stop reading mail and get a life.
     ___ stop sending email and get a life.
     ___ consume excrement.
     ___ consume excrement and thus expire.

Thank you for your sterling illustration of the wonders of inbreeding.